I am a soldier's wife.
I lay awake at night thinking of his arms around me.
I freeze and watch whenever any news on any TV anywhere appears to pertain to the middle east.
I eat alone with my dog and he gets half my dinner.
I find ways to entertain myself so that I don't think of him gone and start crying. But occasionally, I cry. I cry very hard and very loud and my dog is the only one there to comfort me.
I fill my schedule to the point of exhaustion so that I have little or no idle time to be sad.
I feel terrible after every conversation with him in which I wasn't the sweet, perfect little wife I ought to be.
I am painfully aware that "I'll call you back" is never a promise.
I know what it means to feel all alone.
I smile and laugh to help others be strong when I want to curl up and weep.
I find joy in the smallest gifts. Like a midnight call or a 2-sentence e-mail.
A hug or a smile in appreciation touches a very deep place in me and means more than anyone will know.
I gush over how wonderful my husband is even after a tense conversation with him.
EVERYONE knows I'm married to the greatest man alive.
I get weak and frail sometimes and want more than anything a protector.
I wipe little tears away and nobody notices when I hear about a troop dying.
I stare at pictures of him and remember his voice and his looks..
I've lost the intensity of his scent but I still recognize it anywhere.
I'm a soldier's wife. I am this soldier's wife. And no matter how tough it gets, I'll always stand behind the man I love... who loves me so beautifully... even from across the world in a war zone...