ATTENTION: I am now writing over here at wordpress! Please come join me! There is tons of new content I would love for you to read and comment on!

Friday, June 29, 2007

Army Strong

So my husband is amazing. As usual, he gave me the best advice anyone can give in any situation: go to God. He told me to go spend some time just Him and I and to cry, scream, yell, whatever I wanted or needed to do, but then be quiet and listen. He told me to stay there longer than I wanted to.

I read this e-mail in the early morning before work. Frustrated, I headed off because I knew I wouldn't be able to spend any time with God alone until after work and I didn't want to wait that long... or so I thought...

On the 30 minute drive to work I prayed and praised. I asked God to please speak to me... I wanted so desperately to hear from Him. All day at work I tried to pray and praise. Finally, when work was over, I got in my car and drove home. On the way, after praying and singing, I was just thinking. I had on some worship music but I wasn't paying any attention to it. I was actually thinking of a blog I wanted to write... about how my struggles were not important to other people any more and that everybody has their own things they'd rather focus on and it didn't matter how I was affected. I wanted to write about how my burdens were hugely underestimated and forgotten......

Wait a minute. Burdens? That's when God spoke to my heart. All this time I've been so heavy with these situations: Gabe's absence, military protocol, moving alone, disappointments, etc. etc. etc. But those things are not my burdens. Jesus tells us that His yoke is easy and His burden is light... So if I'm living in Christ than why am I living so burdened? No. It's not mine to carry. God asks for it.

And because our God is so awesome and cool, the next song I hear says, "You are enough for me. Your grace is sufficent for my every need." Then when I get home, the Daily Bread thing is about... you guessed it: burdens! God is so good and I love Him!! And I love that He gifted me with a man who loves me enough to not try to fix problems by himself. He takes me straight to God and says, "Ok, sweetheart, go talk to our Father." He holds my hand until it's time for me and God to meet privately. Gabe trusts that our Creator has enough power and enough love to abolish everything that needs to be destroyed and rebuild everything that needs mending. And our Beautiful One really does it.. He really does.

Other people will have their struggles. And mine may go unnoticed... but does that matter? If God cares so much that He tells me to give mine to Him, then what does it really matter if anyone gets or even wants to? If not one person in the whole world cared about me God still would. And part of my reason for living is helping other people. How can I do that when I am so caught up in my own problems and worries that I can't see others'? If I am torn between my struggles and others' I'll be too weighed down to deal with either. And I'm not saying that I want to be dumped on, but God put me here, in part, to be His light and His arms. So I've got the obligation to not worry or fret. To give it over to God so that other people can be ministered to.

I would love some sympathy and support. I would love for people to understand or at least try to. I would love to be given some extra compassion and love in this trial. But I am not meant to carry this around as an encumbrance. I am a Christian. I am the King's child. I am meant to see it as an oppurtunity to grow. I love my God and Gabe loves Him, too... and that is really more than I need.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thank you for reading! Share your thoughts/questions/contributions because I'd love to hear!