So I prayed. God has put it on my heart, whenever she is crying and I know she is okay, to pray that she feels safe somehow and that she knows she is loved and protected. So I prayed this prayer as the monitor lit up with little coos and grunts. I asked God to help her drift to sleep, to let her know somehow that He's with her. I hardly noticed that her noises died down.
Relieved and, I admit, a little bit surprised, I started to go to sleep myself. Then I heard her wake again. So I prayed again. And again she gently drifted back to sleep on her own. In the middle of praying I would realize that she had stopped stirring. It was as though the very words themselves were floating into her room and filling it with God's presence. This process happened a few times and each time I was more relieved and less surprised until both of us fell asleep for the rest of the night. I entered slumber praying to our Father as he soothed both his baby Ray and his new-mommy daughter.
This was not a parting of the ocean or turning water into wine. I have no burning bush and I didn't hear the Voice of God, but I will build an altar here. Any mother will tell you that this was a meaningful miracle and I can tell you that I was in my Father's arms that night. And not only me, but the one person I am formed and commissioned to care for. I can't meet all of her needs, but Christ can. Everything in me wants to make everything in her completely cared for and the only way I can do that is by giving her back to the God who gave her to me.
Sometimes I wonder what weight my prayers have. I feel repetitive and dry as I tell God things I have told him before. But they mean something. Throughout the Bible people pray and the Lord answers. I get the impression that if they did not pray, God would not have acted as he did. Since God knows our thoughts I guess I assume that he doesn't need me to tell him what I need or want, but that seems to be a necessary part of this life... I can't give you a reason why - I can guess and I can assume, but at the end of the day I really don't know the mind of God. What I can say is that praying makes a difference. I have absolutely no doubt that had I not prayed, Raychel would have worked herself up and we would have had the night I was afraid of. And maybe, had I not prayed, RJ would not even be here... God listens and responds to his people.
What a bounty this child is already!
"Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live." (Psalm 116:2)