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Monday, December 31, 2007

It's Official

So I haven't written in a while, but I think today is sort of important. Today means that an entire year has gone by since Gabe left for Afghanistan. One year ago I may have gotten a little sleep and I woke up thinking that he was in bed with me. This morning I knew he wasn't but still wished he was. A year ago I sobbed and sobbed all day and all night so much that my body hurt. Today a few tears may visit me, but it will be normal for me to smile and laugh. A year ago I couldn't eat anything. Now I probably eat
more junk than I should. A year ago everything in our home reminded me of him, even the food in our fridge. Today I have a few reminders of our life together, but I am used to his ghost following me around. Rather than hurt, I feel joy at these memories.

Soon Gabe will be home and we can reclaim our life. Once he has returned I suspect there will be some transitional phase to go through. We have not been home together for an entire year! When his father died he came out to California. For R&R he flew to California as well. When he comes home for good it will be to our home. To be perfectly honest, we are looking forward to a couple months just the two of us. Both of our breaks from this deployment have been shared with family and other people (the first, of course, was all about his father's side of the family and we were glad to spend that with them). So having a little time as a married couple in our own home without any pressure at all to visit people or give any of our time away will be wonderful! There will be a little while between him coming home and his month-long leave. It will be nice to be alone.

Well, that's it really. Deployments still suck and I still hate that he's not here, but this deployment is almost over and somehow God made it a blessing....

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